Pull the Other One, George

Because you've got to be kidding! You're going to the UN? Asking for help? Is that not exactly what we've been saying all along?

The irony is wasted on him, I'm sure, but Kerry could start governing from the campaign trail. All he has to do is keep giving George the right ideas and watch as they become policy.

Not that George's plan has any real merit. He told us himself that we have no measure for success. Will we see fewer attacks by insurgents? No, he said. Probably more. (That might be the measure, the more violence, the better it's going?)

From halfway around the world, we will have no way to see that anything productive happens. For starters, how will the provisional government work differently than it does now? So far, all of our chosen ones have turned out to be NFG, witness Chalabi (I think that's his name). From venerated guest at the State of the Union to the next candidate for electrified nards in four months;this does not inspire my confidence in a US backed transitional government. We have five weeks to put together a government from scratch.

George, it's not going to happen. You have to know that.

You want to have free elections in January? We take two years to choose a new President. Again, this will not happen. Your damage control at home may fool a few people back into your camp, but not for long.

You must understand, we do not respond well to hucksters. You have had trouble wiping that silly smirk off your face for almost four years. You speak like you have something to convince us of. At least Reagan and Slick Willy had the presence of mind to speak like they were convinced. You lie terribly. Go join Toastmasters and learn to deliver a speech without cracking yourself up.

Even if you had a good plan, you would never pull off the execution of it successfully. You are a failure. So much so it infuriates me so much I cannot even delve into an analysis of your speech.